About Talking

I miss being able to talk to my Mom! I won't tell you how old she is, but suffice it to say that I'm 55 years old and I'm the youngest of her 3 children. You would never know it to look at her though! My Mom is in such good condition physically, that she can pass for being 20 years younger than her actual age....Anyway, before all this happened, I used to talk to her on the phone a few times a week, but I haven't been able to talk to her since just before Thanksgiving. I miss talking to my Mom!

I also miss talking to my grandchildren! Although I love all my grandchildren, I used to talk to the children of my daughter, Chrissy, almost EVERY day. Three year old Gabe would ask me, "Is it rainin' there?'". Two year old Peyton would want to know, "Do you still hurt Nana?". (Her vocabulary and ability to understand things is advanced for her age). Now, when Chrissy calls, the children are told that they can talk to me but that I can't answer them back. They seem to understand, but I'm finding it difficult. When I hear them say, "I love you Nana!", I long to tell them back how much I love them too! Hearing their sweet voices on the phone, but not being able to answer them back, still brings tears to my eyes every time.

I also miss taking to my sister! If Sandi weren't my sister, I'd want her as my best friend. She lives on the other side of the country, so we don't get to see each other very often. In fact, the last time we saw each other was at the Memorial Service of our oldest sister, Willene, in 2002. We used to talk on the phone though, which as the commercials will tell you, is 'almost' as good as being there. I miss talking to my sister Sandi!

I also miss being able to talk on the phone to my two closest girlfriends, Diane and Brenda. The three of us have been friends since we were in high school and, although we all live in different states now, our friendship has only grown and deepened over the years. One of my first thoughts when the doctor said I had about a 50/50 chance of regaining the ability to talk, was the devastating thought that I may never be able to pick up the phone and call them again.

There are also others I miss talking to...Bruce, my parent in-laws, my children, my other grandchildren, other friends and my neighbors.

Those of you who know me in person know how talkative I usually am. Sometimes, I'd talk so much that even *I* would get sick of listening to me!

Ironically, I didn't say my first words until well after I had turned 2 years old. For awhile, my mother was concerned that I had a physical disability that would prevent me from ever being capable of speech. However, the doctor told her that I was just lazy and that the best thing to do would be not to give me anything I wanted unless I used words to ask for it. My family did as he suggested and I quickly found a voice. Ever since then the family joke has always been, "Once we taught Trudi how to talk, we couldn't get her to shut up!"

During the past couple of months, I've been thinking a lot about the subject of talking.

In the Bible, the power of speech is mentioned in several places. With the use of the wrong words, we can literally destroy someone's life. We can even kill someone with our tongue!

The Bible also clearly lets us know that gossiping is wrong. As a result, ever since I became a Christian, I've tried not to allow myself to be engaged in gossip. Although I have to admit that there are some words I've spoken that I do wish I could take back, I do think I've improved considerably in this area.

One area where I never improved though was in the ability to fully LISTEN to others. Like most talkative people, far too often I would find myself trying to formulate what my response to someone was going to be, before they had even finished talking. That isn't listening!

I can't help but wonder: How many important things have my husband, my mother, my father in-law, my mother-in-law, my sister, my children, my grandchildren, my friends and others said to me, that I missed hearing because I was too anxious to respond to them?

When the Lord restores my voice (which I truly believe He will), I pray He'll help me to cultivate the ability to speak less and to listen more!