I had lab work done today and both my red blood counts and my white blood counts are dropping quickly.
After the lab work was done, I had an appointment with my regular oncologist. Originally, the plan was for me to have chemotherapy treatments 3 weeks in a row, with the following week off, before starting the next round of 3 treatments. The first of my chemotherapy treatments consisted of the drugs, Taxol and low dose Carboplatin, and the following 2 chemo treatments consisted just of Taxol.
This was to be my week off, which Bruce really thought it was going to be, but judging by the way the onc. talked the last time I saw him (remember, he's also Bruce's onc. so I've known him a long time! LOL), I thought I was going to end up having chemotherapy today. I was right! The onc. was so pleased with my progress that he's decided to go after the cancer more aggressively! Not only did he decide that I should have chemo, today he ordered high dose of Carboplatin for me.
My onc is sending out a piece of my tumor to be tested for a special marker, which I want it to have! Only 10% of the people with the type of lung cancer I have have the marker though, so chances are that I don't have it. Please be praying that my cancer DOES has the marker! If it does, there's a special drug that I'd be able to get and it has a 90% remission rate!
While getting my chemo, I also got a shot to help boost my red blood count.
When we got home from the hospital, getting the mail was like Christmas Day! There were gifts, cards and gift cards! Bruce and I are overwhelmed by how much everyone is doing for us...we don't know how we'll ever be able to thank you all!
Now I know which treatment caused my confusion when I had chemo for the first time. It is the Carboplatin and it's doing it again! This evening, I am having trouble focusing and concentrating on any one thing. For example: I'm trying to type this for the blog, but I'm having trouble finding the right keys and my spelling is all wrong. I also keep forgetting what I'm doing!
Although I'm also having some of the common side-effects from both medicines, this difficulty in keeping my mind focused is the most frustrating one. According to a paper given to use by the hospital, mental confusion is one of the RARE side-effects of Carboplatin.
Again, please be praying that my cancer DOES have the marker!
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Wednesday, 1/24/07
I have a port!
The hardest and longest part was the long wait before the surgery, because the operating room was so far behind. The actual surgery and recovery time only took 2 hours total.
I've been wide-awake ever since I woke up in the operating room! LOL
I'm sure at some point here it's going to start hurting, but so far I'm pain free. :)
The hardest and longest part was the long wait before the surgery, because the operating room was so far behind. The actual surgery and recovery time only took 2 hours total.
I've been wide-awake ever since I woke up in the operating room! LOL
I'm sure at some point here it's going to start hurting, but so far I'm pain free. :)
About Talking
I miss being able to talk to my Mom! I won't tell you how old she is, but suffice it to say that I'm 55 years old and I'm the youngest of her 3 children. You would never know it to look at her though! My Mom is in such good condition physically, that she can pass for being 20 years younger than her actual age....Anyway, before all this happened, I used to talk to her on the phone a few times a week, but I haven't been able to talk to her since just before Thanksgiving. I miss talking to my Mom!
I also miss talking to my grandchildren! Although I love all my grandchildren, I used to talk to the children of my daughter, Chrissy, almost EVERY day. Three year old Gabe would ask me, "Is it rainin' there?'". Two year old Peyton would want to know, "Do you still hurt Nana?". (Her vocabulary and ability to understand things is advanced for her age). Now, when Chrissy calls, the children are told that they can talk to me but that I can't answer them back. They seem to understand, but I'm finding it difficult. When I hear them say, "I love you Nana!", I long to tell them back how much I love them too! Hearing their sweet voices on the phone, but not being able to answer them back, still brings tears to my eyes every time.
I also miss taking to my sister! If Sandi weren't my sister, I'd want her as my best friend. She lives on the other side of the country, so we don't get to see each other very often. In fact, the last time we saw each other was at the Memorial Service of our oldest sister, Willene, in 2002. We used to talk on the phone though, which as the commercials will tell you, is 'almost' as good as being there. I miss talking to my sister Sandi!
I also miss being able to talk on the phone to my two closest girlfriends, Diane and Brenda. The three of us have been friends since we were in high school and, although we all live in different states now, our friendship has only grown and deepened over the years. One of my first thoughts when the doctor said I had about a 50/50 chance of regaining the ability to talk, was the devastating thought that I may never be able to pick up the phone and call them again.
There are also others I miss talking to...Bruce, my parent in-laws, my children, my other grandchildren, other friends and my neighbors.
Those of you who know me in person know how talkative I usually am. Sometimes, I'd talk so much that even *I* would get sick of listening to me!
Ironically, I didn't say my first words until well after I had turned 2 years old. For awhile, my mother was concerned that I had a physical disability that would prevent me from ever being capable of speech. However, the doctor told her that I was just lazy and that the best thing to do would be not to give me anything I wanted unless I used words to ask for it. My family did as he suggested and I quickly found a voice. Ever since then the family joke has always been, "Once we taught Trudi how to talk, we couldn't get her to shut up!"
During the past couple of months, I've been thinking a lot about the subject of talking.
In the Bible, the power of speech is mentioned in several places. With the use of the wrong words, we can literally destroy someone's life. We can even kill someone with our tongue!
The Bible also clearly lets us know that gossiping is wrong. As a result, ever since I became a Christian, I've tried not to allow myself to be engaged in gossip. Although I have to admit that there are some words I've spoken that I do wish I could take back, I do think I've improved considerably in this area.
One area where I never improved though was in the ability to fully LISTEN to others. Like most talkative people, far too often I would find myself trying to formulate what my response to someone was going to be, before they had even finished talking. That isn't listening!
I can't help but wonder: How many important things have my husband, my mother, my father in-law, my mother-in-law, my sister, my children, my grandchildren, my friends and others said to me, that I missed hearing because I was too anxious to respond to them?
When the Lord restores my voice (which I truly believe He will), I pray He'll help me to cultivate the ability to speak less and to listen more!
I also miss talking to my grandchildren! Although I love all my grandchildren, I used to talk to the children of my daughter, Chrissy, almost EVERY day. Three year old Gabe would ask me, "Is it rainin' there?'". Two year old Peyton would want to know, "Do you still hurt Nana?". (Her vocabulary and ability to understand things is advanced for her age). Now, when Chrissy calls, the children are told that they can talk to me but that I can't answer them back. They seem to understand, but I'm finding it difficult. When I hear them say, "I love you Nana!", I long to tell them back how much I love them too! Hearing their sweet voices on the phone, but not being able to answer them back, still brings tears to my eyes every time.
I also miss taking to my sister! If Sandi weren't my sister, I'd want her as my best friend. She lives on the other side of the country, so we don't get to see each other very often. In fact, the last time we saw each other was at the Memorial Service of our oldest sister, Willene, in 2002. We used to talk on the phone though, which as the commercials will tell you, is 'almost' as good as being there. I miss talking to my sister Sandi!
I also miss being able to talk on the phone to my two closest girlfriends, Diane and Brenda. The three of us have been friends since we were in high school and, although we all live in different states now, our friendship has only grown and deepened over the years. One of my first thoughts when the doctor said I had about a 50/50 chance of regaining the ability to talk, was the devastating thought that I may never be able to pick up the phone and call them again.
There are also others I miss talking to...Bruce, my parent in-laws, my children, my other grandchildren, other friends and my neighbors.
Those of you who know me in person know how talkative I usually am. Sometimes, I'd talk so much that even *I* would get sick of listening to me!
Ironically, I didn't say my first words until well after I had turned 2 years old. For awhile, my mother was concerned that I had a physical disability that would prevent me from ever being capable of speech. However, the doctor told her that I was just lazy and that the best thing to do would be not to give me anything I wanted unless I used words to ask for it. My family did as he suggested and I quickly found a voice. Ever since then the family joke has always been, "Once we taught Trudi how to talk, we couldn't get her to shut up!"
During the past couple of months, I've been thinking a lot about the subject of talking.
In the Bible, the power of speech is mentioned in several places. With the use of the wrong words, we can literally destroy someone's life. We can even kill someone with our tongue!
The Bible also clearly lets us know that gossiping is wrong. As a result, ever since I became a Christian, I've tried not to allow myself to be engaged in gossip. Although I have to admit that there are some words I've spoken that I do wish I could take back, I do think I've improved considerably in this area.
One area where I never improved though was in the ability to fully LISTEN to others. Like most talkative people, far too often I would find myself trying to formulate what my response to someone was going to be, before they had even finished talking. That isn't listening!
I can't help but wonder: How many important things have my husband, my mother, my father in-law, my mother-in-law, my sister, my children, my grandchildren, my friends and others said to me, that I missed hearing because I was too anxious to respond to them?
When the Lord restores my voice (which I truly believe He will), I pray He'll help me to cultivate the ability to speak less and to listen more!
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Tuesday, 1/23/07
Although I woke up about 3 am yesterday, thanks to Decadron, I wasn't able to sleep all day. I finally fell asleep about 11:30 pm last night, only to wake up at 1 am. I lay in bed, wide-awake, for the next 3 hours and finally got up at 4 am. I am so thankful that, between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I decided to give up caffeine. I can't imagine how much worse this sleeplessness would be, if I were still a coffee drinker!
I got my wig from the hairdresser at the Cancer Center today and I had my last radiation treatment.
After the treatment, the girls gave me a hug and a paper for my scrapbook. It has my name and today's date on it and it says:
The Purple Heart Award
For Courage and Strength Under Difficult Circumstances
We Honor You!
After my radiation treatment, it wasn't really worth making the 1.5 hour round-trip to come home and then go back to the hospital for my pre-op, so in between appointments we went to Pizza Hut for lunch. After eating, we picked up Missy's ashes from the veterinarian's. :(
I have to be at the hospital at 12:30 pm EST tomorrow and my surgery will probably be at about 1:30 pm. If any of you happen to think about me during the early afternoon, I'd appreciate a prayer and/or good thought.
I got my wig from the hairdresser at the Cancer Center today and I had my last radiation treatment.
After the treatment, the girls gave me a hug and a paper for my scrapbook. It has my name and today's date on it and it says:
The Purple Heart Award
For Courage and Strength Under Difficult Circumstances
We Honor You!
After my radiation treatment, it wasn't really worth making the 1.5 hour round-trip to come home and then go back to the hospital for my pre-op, so in between appointments we went to Pizza Hut for lunch. After eating, we picked up Missy's ashes from the veterinarian's. :(
I have to be at the hospital at 12:30 pm EST tomorrow and my surgery will probably be at about 1:30 pm. If any of you happen to think about me during the early afternoon, I'd appreciate a prayer and/or good thought.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Monday, 1/22/07
The Decadron is preventing me from sleeping much. I think most nights during the past week, I've only gotten a few of hours of sleep each night. I'm exhausted, but sleep won't come. So, I'm trying to rest in the Lord instead.
I had a radiation treatment this morning. Again, I prayed through the treatment and thanked God for healing me. What an awesome God we have!
After my radiation treatment, I had an appointment with the radiation oncologist. After he looked at my swollen feet and ankles, he said I have edema. He thinks it's being caused by the Decadron, which he's continuing to taper me off of. As of today, I only have to take Decadron twice a day.
The radiation onc. said my last radiation treatment will be tomorrow! Yeah!!!
After my last radiation treatment tomorrow, I have an appointment to get my wig. In the late afternoon, I have to have pre-op testing done. On Wednesday, I'm having the surgery to get a port put in. On Thursday, I have to have lab work done, then an appointment with my regular oncologist, followed by my chemotherapy treatment. After that though, I should only need to go to the hospital once a week for my chemotherapy treatments. In other words, starting next week, it won't seem like we're living at the hospital! Therefore, I'm removing the Wish List.
This evening, Pastor Dan Jones, and our friend, Dave, both brought us food. The amount of food our friends, neighbors and community is still bringing us, is amazing! Now that I have an appetite, and thanks to all the good food, I should gain back my lost weight soon, plus some!
Debby, your apple crisp was delicious and if you don't mind sharing it, I'd love to have your recipe!
Finally, this blog is now up-to-date. :)
I had a radiation treatment this morning. Again, I prayed through the treatment and thanked God for healing me. What an awesome God we have!
After my radiation treatment, I had an appointment with the radiation oncologist. After he looked at my swollen feet and ankles, he said I have edema. He thinks it's being caused by the Decadron, which he's continuing to taper me off of. As of today, I only have to take Decadron twice a day.
The radiation onc. said my last radiation treatment will be tomorrow! Yeah!!!
After my last radiation treatment tomorrow, I have an appointment to get my wig. In the late afternoon, I have to have pre-op testing done. On Wednesday, I'm having the surgery to get a port put in. On Thursday, I have to have lab work done, then an appointment with my regular oncologist, followed by my chemotherapy treatment. After that though, I should only need to go to the hospital once a week for my chemotherapy treatments. In other words, starting next week, it won't seem like we're living at the hospital! Therefore, I'm removing the Wish List.
This evening, Pastor Dan Jones, and our friend, Dave, both brought us food. The amount of food our friends, neighbors and community is still bringing us, is amazing! Now that I have an appetite, and thanks to all the good food, I should gain back my lost weight soon, plus some!
Debby, your apple crisp was delicious and if you don't mind sharing it, I'd love to have your recipe!
Finally, this blog is now up-to-date. :)
Sunday, 1/21/07
The rest of my hair fell out today, so I'm now officially bald. I had more hair than this, when I was born! LOL
My ankles and feet have been swollen the past couple of days. I know that's something they always check for, so I'll be sure to tell the radiation oncologist about it tomorrow.
Our friend, Ted, brought us food and money from the pastor of the church at the end of our road, and from some of the congregation. Thank you Pastor Dan Jones and CCC!
My ankles and feet have been swollen the past couple of days. I know that's something they always check for, so I'll be sure to tell the radiation oncologist about it tomorrow.
Our friend, Ted, brought us food and money from the pastor of the church at the end of our road, and from some of the congregation. Thank you Pastor Dan Jones and CCC!
Saturday, 1/20/07
What Bruce has feared would happen, happened today. I fell!
I didn't fall because I was weak or dizzy, but just because my leg muscles gave out on me and they wouldn't hold me up when I tried walking from the living room to the kitchen.
If any of my wonderful friends from the Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma Support message board that are reading this have suggestions for me, please let me know. Although Bruce has experienced extreme weakness with his own cancer, it was associated more with low blood counts, than with muscle deterioration.
I spent part of today working on my Hospital Scrapbook and periodically checking in on the Cyber Crop at Memory Book Inspirations. I also rested a lot, although, thanks to the high doses of Decadron that I'm on, I'm unable to really sleep.
I received a huge bouquet of flowers from Bruce's aunt and uncle today, as well as a generous donation from them towards our medical bills. Thanks Laurice and Bill! We love and miss you guys and we wish we could hug and thank you in person!
I didn't fall because I was weak or dizzy, but just because my leg muscles gave out on me and they wouldn't hold me up when I tried walking from the living room to the kitchen.
If any of my wonderful friends from the Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma Support message board that are reading this have suggestions for me, please let me know. Although Bruce has experienced extreme weakness with his own cancer, it was associated more with low blood counts, than with muscle deterioration.
I spent part of today working on my Hospital Scrapbook and periodically checking in on the Cyber Crop at Memory Book Inspirations. I also rested a lot, although, thanks to the high doses of Decadron that I'm on, I'm unable to really sleep.
I received a huge bouquet of flowers from Bruce's aunt and uncle today, as well as a generous donation from them towards our medical bills. Thanks Laurice and Bill! We love and miss you guys and we wish we could hug and thank you in person!
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Friday, 1/19/07
The muscles in my legs have wasted so much during the past few weeks, that I can't really walk on my own. When I'm at the hospital, I have to be pushed in a wheel chair. At home, I can barely get from the living room to our bedroom, without assistance from Bruce.
Since the only appointment I had at the hospital today was for my radiation treatment, we were in and out of there pretty quickly. Therefore, we decided to go to Wal-Mart afterwards. Part of why I wanted to go was so we could get some birdseed for our bird feeder (we haven't been feeding the birds so far this winter, but now that everything is covered with ice, they are looking for food), but I also thought doing a bit of walking with the assistance of a shopping cart, might help to start strengthening my leg muscles. I think it did help because, by the time we got home, the muscles in my legs were throbbing!
In the forums at Memory Book Inspirations, we're having a Cyber Crop this week-end. As a result, I spent some time scrapbooking this afternoon. I'm making a Hospital Scrapbook with pictures of my visitors, flowers, gifts and more. I'm sure it'll take me awhile to do, but once it's finished, I'll put pictures of it online and will give a link to it.
This evening, I mostly just rested my aching legs.
Since the only appointment I had at the hospital today was for my radiation treatment, we were in and out of there pretty quickly. Therefore, we decided to go to Wal-Mart afterwards. Part of why I wanted to go was so we could get some birdseed for our bird feeder (we haven't been feeding the birds so far this winter, but now that everything is covered with ice, they are looking for food), but I also thought doing a bit of walking with the assistance of a shopping cart, might help to start strengthening my leg muscles. I think it did help because, by the time we got home, the muscles in my legs were throbbing!
In the forums at Memory Book Inspirations, we're having a Cyber Crop this week-end. As a result, I spent some time scrapbooking this afternoon. I'm making a Hospital Scrapbook with pictures of my visitors, flowers, gifts and more. I'm sure it'll take me awhile to do, but once it's finished, I'll put pictures of it online and will give a link to it.
This evening, I mostly just rested my aching legs.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Thursday, 1/18/07
I woke up about 4 am today (Decadron will do that to you). When I came out into the living room, Missy was even worse than last night. She had obviously had a lot of diarrhea and vomiting during the night, and it was pretty much pure blood that came out both ends. She just lay sleeping for awhile, before she gave out a cry of pain. When she did that, I went and woke up Bruce and he petted Missy and told her how much he loved her, until he felt her heart stop. Our beloved Missy passed away at approximately 5:15 am today.
My first appointment of the day, was with a surgeon. I'm going to be having day surgery next week, to have a port put in. The nurses will use the port as an access, to do blood draws and to give me my intravenous chemotherapy through. I'll be having the surgery on Wednesday.
After I saw the surgeon, I had lab work done and then I received chemotherapy. Bruce and I took the first VCR tape from the series, Matthew: The Visual Bible, to watch while I was getting my chemo. However, I ended up falling asleep and when the chemo was done, the nurse had to wake me up. I was so tired, I just wanted to stay there and continue sleeping!
Later in the day, I had a radiation treatment.
When we got home from the hospital, Bruce took Missy's lifeless body to the veterinarian's, to have her cremated. The ground is too frozen to bury her right now, so we'll bury her ashes in the spring. This is a very sad day for us.
In a show of support for me, Brittany shaved her head today. She says she's going to keep it shaved, until my hair starts growing back in. When mine starts growing in again, she'll start letting hers grow again. What a sweet gesture! Thank you Brittany!
My first appointment of the day, was with a surgeon. I'm going to be having day surgery next week, to have a port put in. The nurses will use the port as an access, to do blood draws and to give me my intravenous chemotherapy through. I'll be having the surgery on Wednesday.
After I saw the surgeon, I had lab work done and then I received chemotherapy. Bruce and I took the first VCR tape from the series, Matthew: The Visual Bible, to watch while I was getting my chemo. However, I ended up falling asleep and when the chemo was done, the nurse had to wake me up. I was so tired, I just wanted to stay there and continue sleeping!
Later in the day, I had a radiation treatment.
When we got home from the hospital, Bruce took Missy's lifeless body to the veterinarian's, to have her cremated. The ground is too frozen to bury her right now, so we'll bury her ashes in the spring. This is a very sad day for us.
In a show of support for me, Brittany shaved her head today. She says she's going to keep it shaved, until my hair starts growing back in. When mine starts growing in again, she'll start letting hers grow again. What a sweet gesture! Thank you Brittany!
Wednesday, 1/17/07
Our power finally came back on, late last night. We were without electricity for approximately 24 hours.
I've been put on antibiotics, because it seems that I might be developing pneumonia.
When I went for my radiation treatment today, there was a very thick envelope waiting for me there, but the techs said they didn't know who it was from. After my treatment, I opened the envelope to discover a book of prayers inside. It was from Beth, in the lab. Thank you Beth!
I've been put on antibiotics, because it seems that I might be developing pneumonia.
When I went for my radiation treatment today, there was a very thick envelope waiting for me there, but the techs said they didn't know who it was from. After my treatment, I opened the envelope to discover a book of prayers inside. It was from Beth, in the lab. Thank you Beth!
Since the radiation treatment was the only appointment I had at the hospital today, afterwards we made a quick stop at a store so I could buy a hat to cover my cold, balding head!
When we got home, we discovered that friends, Galen and Sam, had brought us some firewood in case we lose our electricity again. What a blessing!
Also, in an email, I received notice of a 6 month gift subscription to NetFlix. I own an online scrapbooking store, so I'm a member of ScrapBiz. Never would I have expected ScrapBiz owner, Kim, to send me a get well gift though, especially such a generous one. Thanks Kim and ScrapBiz Mavens!
Now for some really sad news. When we got home our Beagle, Missy, was violently ill. She had been having diarrhea and had been vomiting, and she was in obvious discomfort. Bruce took her to the vet, who wasn't sure he could help her. He gave Bruce several medicines for her to try, and Bruce brought her back home. This evening, Missy is still having diarrhea and vomiting, and now there's quite a bit of blood in it. :(
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